you were meant for amazing things.

Good readings: Vinyl Cafe Diaries by Stuart McLean
Song on repeat: Hello, I'm in Delaware by City & Colour

I can't believe I've had this Blogger for nearly a year and haven't written a single stale blog about life and the pursuit of happiness--or something like it! I have a certain predilection towards blogging, because it's writing without parameters or expectations. I suppose I could be concerned about entertaining the reader(s), but mostly I can get by just yammering about events and books and music for my own selfish, narcissistic benefit. I'm also allowed to be as unfocused as I so desire.

Anyhow, I'm completely aware of why I titled this blog somewhere in between back when I started it. I would say it's lack of an upstart was because I was at quite a static point in my life, then. I've never experienced such a feeling....the best way I can describe it is with an old Spanish phrase.

Ni alli, ni aqui. Neither here, nor there.

I was somewhere in between. I was dreading the impending fact that I was going to return to a ho-hum existence in Kankakee County, leaving UIC to attend community college back home because I was finding myself with empty pockets and no motivation. I practically had one foot out the door already.

At the same time, I was thrilled to be in the Windy City for at least a few more months, navigating my way around my neighborhood like a pro and spending countless nights making memories with friends I did not want to soon forget. I had created a quasi-life amongst these friends and couldn't handle the reality of my situation, which is why I drew out my stay in Chicago through most of the summer.

What can I say? I hate running, but I occassionally enjoy jogging away from my problems.

I still can't say I regret the year in Chicago, nor can I bemoan the time I'm spending at KCC. I'm not where I want to be, yet. I'm just somewhere in between. It's a hopeful thing, learning to realize your potential, to nuture it and remember its value.

So, as it is...I am learning.

A wonderful result of community college is that I can finish all of my schoolwork and do a great deal of leisurely reading and music foraging. I suppose that's mostly what I'll talk about in hurrrr. Now and then, I'll probably talk about how guys are a bunch of Goombas (they are..but that's another long story) and how tired I am of mannerless customers at the bookstore..complain, complain, complain. Ah, blogging how I miss thee.

The Vinyl Cafe Diaries make me happy. They're almost similar to Augusten Burroughs' short stories, and nothing like Chuck Palahinuk's, Saints preserve us. I read a few from Haunted and was left physically ill. I haven't enjoyed any of Chuck's books since I read Fight Club. Go figure.

I'm also in love with the beautiful albeit rather melancholy music Dallas Green makes for his side project, City & Colour. This is the guy from Alexisonfire, a great post-hardcore band that I can't help but love, as well. Typically, his vocals are the less aggressive backing melodies to the frontman's anxious screams with Alexisonfire, so it only makes sense that he would choose a more soothing genre for his solo stuff. At any rate, I love it. I got a chance to see him live when he opened up for Tegan and Sara, and LET ME TELL YA SOMETHIN'! Despite the fact that I was surrounded by droves of every kind of stereotypical lesbian in the book, zero inches from a girl's armpit and a considerably lesser distance from a formidable-looking bulldyke (my lesbian friend told me it was okay to use this term....eep) with a beer in each hand (like there was ROOM for that!!!), I was hypnotized by the soul with which this man plays. It was poetic.

Speaking of being poetic, I have been recently inspired to begin scribbling my creative thoughts down. I am not ashamed to say this inspiration comes in the form of a gift I gave to myself. It's a gorgeous journal that smells deliciously of leather.

I'll bring this to an awkward end with a quote from un grand philosophe:

"Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her;
but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards to win the game." -Voltaire

Playing it close to the chest,
Virge